I know its a day late, but Im fucking jet lagged, so my brain is still trying to cross the time zone...just want to say..

Happy Memorial Day

OMG. why am I trembling again? this is bian tai. can someone kill me?

My Precious

Was scrolling through some old photos..I probably took this 3-4 years ago. This Ju Zai has been though thick and thin with me, accompanied me through nights of work, days of tearful solitude, travelled on my lap across the globe....

A lifeless real companionship, better than many unreal companionship in life.

Gasp

So forgettably wise -
An unforgettable quote for life...

" In the end, our society will be defined not only by what we create, but by what we refuse to destroy." - Rob Pope

Beautiful isnt it?

I just realized I missed a comment dated March 10 for an earlier post. For some unknown urge i started reading some of my old posts....something which I never do because they remind me too much of painful times...and the postings reflect nothing but self-pity, self-indulgence which I am unashamed of, but of extreme apprehension. At times, I feel like I am possessed.

"you should just kick some ass. period. whoever dared to venture to hurt ma pretty lady here oughta have their asses kicked. BE IT 1998 VERSION, OR THE 9 MONTHS AGO VERSION OR THE MOST RECENT VERSION. karma shall get YOU in no time. babe the easiest give up on are JERKS. they don't deserve your love much less your thoughts, energy, tears, numbness, whatever, they don't deserve ANYTHING. they don't even deserve my words i tell you! but i am writing it to you.move on, find someone new which i know you know now who are the people good for you and be happy!=Pat the end of the day, who are those pieces of shit that you crossed paths with? they are at best LESSONS. please don't give them too much of a credit of making THAT huge a difference in your life. cheerios and onward my gal! "
Friday, March 10, 2006 3:00:36 AM

I dont know who wrote this and I dont need to know..but thanks...i hate myself for absolutely avoiding people who tries to love me for I have lost so much drive in life from people who hurt me so much, unintentionally, yet most selfishly. I hate myself for not being strong enough to do what is good for myself. And yet, some anynomous soul would care more than those whom I wish would have done so ...why and for what?

Have to run again
Wanting to run away
For a little while
Be safe for a little while
Forget a little, of the little thats left of me

Be gone, be gone, be gone..